Pre-Trib Rapture Blog » Humor

Out of the Mouthes of Babes – A Child Explains God

admin — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 17:38:48 +0000

Third Grade Homework Assignment completed by 8 year-old Danny Dutton of Chula Vista, CA. From RITA

EXPLANATION OF GOD:
‘One of God’s main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die, so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth. He doesn’t make grownups, just babies. I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way he doesn’t have to take up his valuable time teaching them to talk and walk. He can just leave that to mothers and fathers.’

‘God’s second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some people, like preachers and things, pray at times beside bedtime. God doesn’t have time to listen to the radio or TV because of this. Because he hears everything, there must be a terrible lot of noise in his ears, unless he has thought of a way to turn it off.’

‘God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere which keeps Him pretty busy. So you shouldn’t go wasting his time by going over your mom and dad’s head asking for something they said you couldn’t have.’

‘Atheists are people who don’t believe in God. I don’t think there are any in Chula Vista . At least there aren’t any who come to our church.’

‘Jesus is God’s Son. He used to do all the hard work, like walking on water and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who didn’t want to learn about God. They finally got tired of him preaching to them and they crucified him. But he was good and kind, like his father, and he told his father that they didn’t know what they were doing and to forgive them and God said O.K.’

‘His dad (God) appreciated everything that he had done and all his hard work on earth so he told him he didn’t have to go out on the road anymore. He could stay in heaven. So he did. And now he helps his dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things which are important for God to take care of and which ones he can take care of himself without having to bother God. Like a secretary, only more important.’

‘You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to help you because they got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the time.’

‘You should always go to church on Sunday because it makes God happy, and if there’s anybody you want to make happy, it’s God!

Don’t skip church to do something you think will be more fun like going to the beach. This is wrong. And besides the sun doesn’t come out at the beach until noon anyway.’

‘If you don’t believe in God, besides being an atheist, you will be very lonely, because your parents can’t go everywhere with you, like to camp, but God can. It is good to know He’s around you when you’re scared, in the dark or when you can’t swim and you get thrown into real deep water by big kids.’

‘But…you shouldn’t just always think of what God can do for you. I figure God put me here and he can take me back anytime he pleases.

And…that’s why I believe in God.”

Jonah and The Whale – A Tale of Love and Forgiveness

admin — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 17:17:13 +0000

There’s a wealth of information in the story of Jonah. God’s love, his forgiveness, and his mercy when we do things that are not part of his plan for us. Here’s a wonderful re-telling of the story. Be Blessed!

The story of Jonah from Corinth Baptist Church on Vimeo.

Rapture Date Setter Rant

admin — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 03:39:56 +0000

From Jim on 5Doves

If I hear another predicted rapture date, I think I will scream!!!

After 16 years of incessant, incorrect dates for the rapture, each year from spring to fall feasts, then starting all over again the next year, I’ve about had it. Disappointment after disappointment. They are ready to carry me away to the funny farm. In fact, I think I see them coming up the driveway to the front door right now. Is that their white van outside? Why are those guys carrying butterfly nets?

They’re coming to take me away, HA HA
They’re coming to take me away, HO HO HEE HEE HA HA
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I’ll be happy to see
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And they’re coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!

But wait!

I can’t stop. I have an addiction. We have to keep watching. The signs are great and are getting greater. We are called to be watchmen. We must not stop now, when we are getting so close.

So, there is still a promising date this month. Then in November. Then in December. Then….

aaarrrgggghhh!!!!

Jim

Note from admin – Jim promptly followed this little ‘scream’ with another watch date for 2009. Once a watcher, always a watcher. : )

Breathe On Me – Worship Video

admin — Mon, 11 May 2009 06:06:14 +0000

World Event Coming in 2009?

admin — Fri, 01 May 2009 16:28:49 +0000

Jim T on 5doves:

May 2009 is quickly sizing up to be a major prophetic month in Bible Prophecy. World events are fastly spinning out of control. All the signs are pointing to the beginning of the Tribulation Judgments as described in the Book of Revelation. Bible Prophecy is on fast-forward now.

May 10-11th will see the Catholic Pope visiting Israel in a State Visit. This time frame is also the 2nd Passover, and the 17th of Iyar. The day God closed the Ark of Safety to Noah’s family and began flooding the earth. Will God once again take out all the Christian believers in the RAPTURE ARK of safety, and then begin flooding the earth with His Tribulation Judgments ? We will know very soon.

May 21st is another important watch day, for this day is Ascension Day, the special day when our Lord Jesus Christ assended into Heaven and then comes May 31st – Pentecost. When the Holy Spirit came apon the Jewish believers and gave them power to take the gospel message to the ends of the earth.

Will the Savior of the world, the Messiah of all mankind, Jesus Christ return to planet earth in May 2009 and rapture out all Christian believers. And empower the 2 Hebrew witnesses to share the gospel massage to the Jewish people, and then start the 7 years of Tribulation Judgments all over the world ?

I would say the odds are very high that before May 2009 is over, we believers in Jesus Christ will be in our eternal homes in the New Jerusalem. And all those Left behind will face the Wrath and Judgment of the King of Kings, Jesus Christ Himself !!!